So it has been a while since my last personal blog post.
I've been struggling recently.
Many of you know that I have a history with mental health issues, notably depression and anxiety. Some recent events have begun to weigh on my mind and the struggle with my inner demons has been increasing.
What I'd like to do here is discuss the reality of working for yourself, an isolating position in the best of times, combined with working in a isolating industry, eg photography.
I've found over the last 8 years that while I meet a lot of people and have had the wonderful opportunity to interact, create and work with so many unique individuals, many of the people in our industry are what I would term 'fast-friends', people who come along, you forge a strong bond with quickly, in order to create, and then just as quickly they return whence they came.
Now don't get me wrong this isn't a post designed to rain on people or be-moan the behaviour of industry professional. Fast-friends are a by-product of an industry which values immediacy, fast-changing fashion trends, unrealistic body image and spending as little as possible for greatest gain.
With constrained time limits and budgets its imperative that creatives are able to bond, communicate and create strong images, quickly and effectively. But for those like myself, where these bonds come from an area of true genuine connection, it can actually be quite painful.
Bonds, both personal or creative, can only be created with someone to the level at which you are willing to be affected by it. So to bond strongly you need to allow yourself to genuinely open up to a subject and forge something real. And as such when that bond is severed, either by choice or circumstance. its like a small heartbreak.
Now imagine doing that every day. For years.
Sounds exhausting already right?
There is a silver lining behind this, however, as you can also encounter, kindred creative spirits. People who's creative vibe/juice/energy/whatever aligns with yours in such a way that no matter what the style of shoot or creative brief is, they are always up for another concept or catch-up or discussing the crazy stuff they have planned next.